Ran

I signed up for a course one month and a half ago. It’s regarding project management, very intensive. I have to be in the class from 9 to 6 on Saturday, and have group discussion the next day. We met for group discussion at 10, and normally we left at 5. So pretty much the whole weekend has been devoted to the class. I have to find time in the evening to do grocery shopping and the chores.

Yesterday was the last day for the course. The teature showed us an example how everything is used in the real project, and we had a chance (finally) to have hands-on experience writing related document for project management. That was cool.

After everyone presented his material, the teacher gave everyone few cards and asked us to write cards to appreciate people who had helped us go through the class. We could write one for the whole class, one for the coach, one for the significant half, and one for ourselves. I was pretty uneasy then, as I could not come up with anything to write on the card. I felt I was compelled to do this superficial thing, and everything I had to write down at that moment would not be my true feeling and it is wrong.

So when the time was up, and the teacher asked group leader to take one card from each person and read it in front of the whole class, I refused. Not sure how I composed myself, and I’m sure I looked like an idiot.

Then comes another game.

Since it was officially the last class, we were asked to meet classmates, one at a time, and evaluate how we felt for each other. If I felt the other personwas just ok, I barely knew him, then we counted one, two, three, and I showed him one finger (index finter). If he also showed one finger, then we had a mutual agreement for each other, and then we nodded. If I showed one and he showed two, then we did not have an agreement, we crossed out arms in front of our chest, and walked away to find the next person.

If we both liked each other and both showed 2 fingers, then we shook hands. If we both liked each other a lot and both showed 3 fingers, then we high-fived. If we both felt like we really went through something together and great friends, and showed 4 fingers, then we hugged. So one to four fingers.

So that was pretty much like a group hug game. I do not think anyone, in their good consicousness, would show one to three fingers in that scenario. However I was very very uneasy and uncomfortable. One person from my group approached, and I had to apologized this is really not my type of game. And when another person from another group approached, I was actually frightened. I must have looked like a really idiot. And I picked up my backpack and coat, and ran to the door. I ran, literally.

I was very upset, and the first real feeling that I felt was anger. I signed up for a class, and definitely not religious type of thing. That company has not right to put me in an awkard situation like this. But there has to be a combination of many subconsious reasons that is way beyong my apprehension.